| i fucking love kate bush |
[11 Feb 2007|11:51pm] |
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kate bush/new young pony clubbb |
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i think it's wierd how relationships go through changes. i've been thinking a lot about that today. i was at mikes house and we were just chilling and i was thinking about our relationship as a whole, i guess. and then i thought about everything in the beginning and how i used to think of him and how i used to think of our relationship, and everything is completely different now. i'm not complaining at all, because i love him just the same and more obviously. but it is odd to look back on the things that i used to get excited about that simply don't exist in our relationship anymore. my reasoning behind this is we're obviously not a "new" couple anymore, and i guess thats why all these things don't happen anymore. but seriously, i used to get excited when i went to work, because i knew it was going to be a automatic thing that i would see mike on my break and of course after work, and he would always come over to my house after and stay as late as i begged him or my parents to, i used to love talking on the phone and hanging up like for the night or something, and he would call me back just to say i love you or something. haha also i used to call him in the wee hours of the morning like if i couldn't sleep or something and immediately apoligize for calling so late and waking him up, just so he would say "i'm glad you did," that always blew my mind becuase i know that if he called me and woke me up or something i know for a fact i wouldn't be nearly that sweet or pleasant. i used to love it when he bought me flowers and we woud drive around in his truck blasting the cranberries with thumping subs like lame - ossssss or when we would walk and sit in "the spot" at the arbo. i don't know, i'm not sad, because we do all sorts of things now too, their just different less innocent things, or just "the ususal things." we DO play tony hawk constantly now which is fucking baller and i love it. i don't know, i guess i'm just reflecting becuase i can't sleep and he is asleep and i love him and wish i was talking to him instead of writing in my livejournal like a fucking lame ass. whatever, i think i will go brush my teeth now, with the cutest ice cream tooth brush that mike bought me. i'm so pathetic, i somtimes wonder if it's possible to love someone more than i love him because sometimes when i look at him it just hurts i'm so damn full of emotion. i hope that never goes away, and i hope him meaning the world to me never goes away either.
also i dyed my hair......... whaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?
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| FUCK |
[10 Jan 2007|07:24pm] |
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of montreal |
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I'M GOING TO VENT NOW, OKAY?
I am eight teen years old. I go to Myers Park High School, and my life is pretty cool sometimes.
Next year I will most likely be attending Central Piedmont Community College, for lots of different reasons. One - I don't really know for sure what I want to do with my life. Two - It wil save my parents a lot of money. Three - I like Charlotte so I will take transfer classes and transfer to UNCC and yes I will actually take transfer classes and TRANSFER. So, as of now... that is my plan if I don't get into UNCC. Whatever.
I'm having a really shitty time.
Everyday of my life theres shit going on at my house that I'm so so so so so so so so so very tired of, really, I am so fucking tired of it. I have twin sisters. They attend Myers Park High School with me.
That in a nutshell is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me, or our relationship. I love my sisters more than anything in the world, and I would be devastated if anything bad ever happened to either one of them. They look just like me, and their cute, and sweet, and what they like to think is caring. But at the same time with all of this love, I really can't fucking stand living with them. And I really can't stand lots of stuff about them. Sometimes I try to sit down and ponder what the fuck is so different about our brains, and the way we think. I guess if you wanted to say it quickly you could say that I'm just crazy, and their so.... not.
I don't know I'm obviously a lot more open minded than them, and I get so sick of their naive 9th grader criticism. But more than that I get so sick of them being such little snitches.
One shitty thing about arguing with people is when there is something that they are doing that is really wrecking your nerves, but you can't think of any specific instances or specific examples to back up your claim. Well at least thats what always happens to me when I'm arguing. Then as soon as the argument is over you think of all of these great examples... fuck.
Well since I'm just venting.... I have lots and lots of examples. (read: I know anyone that is reading this is like "Oh my gosh, she is so lame for going on and on about her 9th grade sisters, but let me just say - no one will ever understand except maybe Bets how much this petty bullshit that they are obsessed with thinking about and expressing to me, and my parents, and the rest of my family; effects my life - so that is why)
-Yesterday my sister Ashton and I got into an argument about me having her batteries .... when I don't. And I got so fucking irritated I said the words "I don't have your God damn batteries"..... it wasn't but like maybe 15 minutes before my dad was calling me telling me how irresponsible i am for saying these things, and asking questions like " ARE THERE ANY LINES YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO CROSS, MADISON?".......... LOVE IT!
-The day after Christmas my sisters took Drivers Ed. behind the wheel. I have a car and sometimes my parents make me drive them places - and hell sometimes I even take them places out of the fucking kindness in my little heart. Well apparently my sisters now think I'm a crazy driver. They constantly have smart ass comments to make to me about the way I drive. Guess who else now likes to constantly give me a hard time about the way I drive now? My parents. Blah Blah Blah. Yes, sometimes i speed, I mean jesus I have a stick shift - if course sometimes I have SPEED. WHY WOULDN'T I?? IT'S FUCKING FUN. No I don't constantly speed, but on certain roads I do. I'm careful though it's not like it's outrageous. Whatever, I just won't be taking them anywhere.... which is completely fine by me! sucks for them.
I really could go on and on about how their always (may I repeat ALWAYS) in my business. And getting on me about the decisions I make and the decisions my friends make, and the decisions my boyfriend makes. God, they don't even know half the things that go on in my life and I can only imagine what they would think of me if they did. I got a tattoo.... wow. They both lectured me about how awful this was.... and now have smart comments to make about it all the time. I get high sometimes.... I sincerely think that I'm going to rot in hell because of this. They tell me all the time about how God wouldn't be pleased with me. I'm just disgusted. I'm itching for the day when they grow up just a little so we can actually be close and stop pretending like we are.
I'm not a fake person I pretty much say what I think all the time, and I wear my emotions on my sleeve. And I'm usually not ashamed of the things that I do - the sooner they realize these things.... the better.
also - (for rebecca!!)
look at the LIGHTING! <3
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| fun! |
[02 Nov 2006|08:20pm] |
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| BONE JOUR! -- i love lizzie leee |
[02 Nov 2006|07:55pm] |
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belly |
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well... I GOT A CAR! 1996 Volkswagon Cabrio 5 - speed! Monday i turned 18. Tuesday i got my liscence finally, geez
sunday mike and i went to the mountains. it was real fun. i bought so much fudge!!!!!!
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[24 Oct 2006|07:40pm] |
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i love him |
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the church |
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i seriously think i am having a relapse to this time last year... it's hard to believe that it's been a year. it doesn't feel like it. i hate thinking about it.
that was me turning 17
and in whaaat... 6 days i'll be turning 18. i guess i just expected everything to be easier, and for me to be further along, or something.
honestly madison, get a clue; you're supposed to be happy
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[02 Sep 2006|12:12pm] |
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the fitness |
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yesterday was fun
betsy ... well
we went to value village and i got the most beautiful pair of boots i have ever seen in my entire life and i found a really neat camera, i hope it works, that would be way too awesome for words. school seems like it's going to be pretty good this year, aside from all the awkward feelings.
i guess you could say i'm pretty happy
ps grey's anatomy season 2 comes out sept. 12th and i get my braces off sept. 14th! AWESOME!
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| catholic is going dowm friday night |
[22 Aug 2006|03:55pm] |
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bad mood. |
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JEM |
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AHHH
bad mood
i have had to listen to my sister's shitty music all day which consists of -
nickelback
natasha beddingfield
nirvana which isn't bad but coming from them - that's just comical
SOS
michelle branch
and a bunch of other bad shit
i really never thought i would think this but i can't wait to go back to school.
all the stupid fights about who's going to hang out with who and all the time that's spent doing absolutely nothing will all be gone, because we'll all be at school! petty petty stupid stupid stuff; summer's been good - but i'm done
i'm looking foward to graduating.
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| I need a big weekend. |
[17 Aug 2006|11:25am] |
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happy. |
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TOM |
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I feel genuinely happy. And more than that, I feel so excited! I have so many things that are on "Madison's List of Things to Look Forward to."
1. I'm going to be a senior this year.
2. I get my car soon soon soon!
3. I get my braces OFF September 14th!
4. I turn 18 Oct. 30th (which isn't that far away) and I'm planning to have a huge Halloween Party (read I'm going to be Minnie Mouse again!)
5. Tomorrow I'm going to look at Nursing school tomorrow with my mom tomorrow at 10:30!
6. After Nursing school my mom and I are going to look at Galleries all throughout Charlotte (read I'm 100% this will inspire me since school and Art are coming up!)
7. FOOT BALL GAMES (read i don't care if having school spirit and loving Football is lame or cliche I'm estatic about Football season starting!)
8. Fall/ Holiday/ Winter/ Holiday will be here before we know it... and cold weather, winter fashion, shopping for Christmas presents and rosy cheeks are my favorite things in the world!
This is kind of how I feel about life, in a motivated sort of way.
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| someone, please take me seriously |
[29 May 2006|10:56pm] |
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nothing believe it or not |
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i have had such a horrible day
i feel really guilty and selfish by saying this but i had a really bad weekend
i just feel like all of the sudden my life as turned really really hard
i don't want to think about college or responsibilities or grades or being on my own or my fucking plan and all of the what if's
i want to worry about what i'm going to wear tomorrow what's for dinner who's playing in charlotte who's dating who what me and mike are going to do
i just want things to be EASY.
the one thing that has always been easy in my life isn't anymore and sometimes i even feel like that's a lost cause, and no one understands, and i just feel so completely helpless in that situation.
my attitude is pretty much apathetic towards everything, and i hate it. i pretty much do the least possible to get by with what i need to do. and yes that's awful, but it's not like i've always been that way, i've grown into being that way.
it's like in my head the solution to everything is just not caring at all, but in the long run that doesn't work
and my way of dealing with things is just to block people out, i don't hide things but i don't want to be comforted and i don't want sympathy, i just someone who fucking understands and can give a solution to all of the things that suck ass. i just want to know what to do to make things better.
it's like i lack something, i lack motivation to do the things i want. i want to make really great grades, i want to be an awesome girlfriend, i want to get more sleep, i want to keep my fucking room clean, i want to get along with my family and betsy, but 99% of the time i feel like i'm falling short
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm tired of falling short, and i'm just tired of me and i need to make some serious changes, i just feel like i don't even know where to start
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| when you guys hug it's different because you love eachother |
[21 May 2006|11:10pm] |
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cranberries |
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Well, today is May 21st, basically this means that mine and Mikes 6 month is in 5 days, school is out in 19 days, i get my liscence in 3 months and 12 days and a bunch of other stuff.
This weekend has been pretty damn challeging - friday i think i seriously may have had like some sort of break down, my dad seriously went psycho it was craze -
saturday was .... umm bad luck, i wake up and think my boyfriend is high, go get my nails done and they look awful so i went home and redid them myself, cut myself shaving, drop my favorite necklace down the bathroom sink, had a huge pimple on my chin the day of prom, get lost on the way to the restraunt, spill MORE food on my dress, get to prom and spill chocolate on mikes tux and poor water all down the front of him, get lost on the way home ... but when he got to mikes house things got MUCH better so the evening was really fun despite all the things clearly against me... i didn't realize how unlucky i was at the time but looking back on it... good grief i don't know what the deal was.
today was good and i felt happy, i was really glad to spend time with my boyyyfriend
i'm so so ready for summer oh six
junior year has been so incredibly dissapointing in so many ways - senior year MUST be better. The only thing i can think of about junior year that has actually been good is mike and the fact that it has gone by FAST. i want to graduate and go to college and get the hell out of charlotte for a while (read live in boone and go to app) that will be nice.
i can not wait for TOM PETTY
i miss greys anatomy so so much this is the first sunday in forever that i haven't watched it
and i have no idea what the status for my employment at michaels is
and i think me and mike suck at prom, we will have to get better at it before next year
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| the white men in the black suits suck |
[05 May 2006|11:23am] |
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this is a song about susan |
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i'm out of school today to take a one hour exam. i think this is pretty sweet.
i miss updating my livejournal, but my parents are seriously crazy so, it's times like these that i have to sneak onto the computer to update.
things that are awesome -
- i finally got my permit
- mike's car is fixed
- PROM IS TOMORROW!
- MY MAN IS IN TOWN JUNE 9TH (tom petty, duhhh)
things that suck -
- a bunch of shit
- i'm tired of fighting
- i miss things
- it's only may and i want to to be time for my liscence
- my life is frustrating, and yes, i am allowed to say this
other than that life is pretty great and i can not wait for summer oh six, it is very soon.
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| I BELIEVE IN MY MOM AND MY DAD |
[19 Jan 2006|11:10pm] |
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the buzzcocks |
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i've found that livejournal really is only interesting for the pictures that i update with. don't get me wrong, i still read everybodys updates, for the most part. but the original reasons that i loved lj are dead and long gone. so i will now update with the cutest picture anybody has ever ever seen!
i was so damn cute
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| i wouldn't want to be KATE |
[10 Jan 2006|04:06pm] |
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ben folds |
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so i know i'm late; in fact i'm 10 whole days late
but i definintely don't care because i've had no internet and i've been wanting to make the oh five post since i made the oh four one.
( OH FIVE, YOU KNOW )
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| MADISON GOT OFF WORK EARLY |
[24 Dec 2005|04:08pm] |
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merry christmas |
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the shins |
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seasons greetings from the the top right window! <3
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just_a_girl_mlg's journal
for me to know
dirrrrty
